she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
only you would photoshop your dick
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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