are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
