I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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