Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
