he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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