I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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