Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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