I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
