I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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