Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
