Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
