Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
