Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
