forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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