just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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