You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
