Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
