I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
