I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
