if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
