i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize