...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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