i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
