If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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