I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
