Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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