How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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