Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
