Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
