he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
