He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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