Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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