WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
