im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
