Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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