Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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