who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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