you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
