Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
