3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
