he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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