God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
