Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
