I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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