Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
