i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
