idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just invented taco cereal.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
