Kiss
Puke
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
