Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My cat gives me a boner
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
