I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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