Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you didnt know i had herpes?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
