Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
