Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
