I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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