i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize