So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
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Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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