And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
