This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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