I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
