So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
