Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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