And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
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He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
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I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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