I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
